A new start after 60: I became a ‘hummingbird’ for people with dementia

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At 63, Ann Thomas-Carter stepped into Framland care home for the first time and was immediately taken aback. “It wasn’t like a care home at all; it was this beautiful old manor house overlooking the Oxfordshire countryside and there were only 21 residents,” she says. “It felt like a big family, especially since everyone calls the residents ‘family members’. I fitted in right away.”

Thomas-Carter used to work as a pharmacy dispenser at Boots in Oxford town centre. “I had worked most of my life at Boots and it was a safe place for me, somewhere I could be face to face with customers and help them,” she says. But when it emerged that the job was about to change, Thomas-Carter decided to retire. “I thought I would start to spend time pottering around the garden, but after a few weeks without work I began to feel like I never should have left.”

She was talking to a friend and former colleague about her newfound lack of purpose when they suggested that Thomas-Carter take up a volunteering role at Framland, which is run by the charity Pilgrims’ Friend Society. “I’d never done any caring beyond looking after my parents when they had cancer and helping customers when they’d just been given bad news, so I had no idea what to expect,” she says. “Still, I thought it couldn’t hurt to try. I showed up on that first day in 2017 to shadow a more experienced volunteer and six hours went in six minutes. Everyone was so welcoming and it was exciting not knowing what might happen from one hour to the next.”

Thomas-Carter signed up for a part-time role – and a steep learning curve in caring for elderly people, including studying for an NVQ diploma in adult care. “It felt fun learning about so many new things at my age, including legislation and healthcare, and I soon realised that I enjoyed helping those with dementia the most,” she says. “It’s such a rewarding role, because you see people’s faces light up when we spend time with them. Since their time is so precious, it’s an honour to share it with them.”

Now 70, Thomas-Carter is an established member of the team and a specialist “Hummingbird” – the name given to members of staff who keep residents with dementia company. “We flit from person to person like the bird,” she says. “You have to be very patient with people who have dementia, as there is a lot of repetition and they can be irritable, so that’s when we might move on to someone else. At their worst, they can come out with some unexpected things, like swearing at you, but in that case it’s not really them talking. At other times, it’s so beautiful hearing them tell their life stories.”

Thomas-Carter says her work has given her an appreciation of the privilege of ageing and a deeper ability to understand others. “I never judge a book by its cover now, as you have no idea what people have been through or how they might feel,” she says. “Sometimes I might see someone who keeps asking what day of the week it is, then they will come out with the most fabulous memories from 60 or 70 years ago.”

She describes the social distancing and lockdowns of the Covid pandemic as a particularly difficult time, when staff had to be dressed in PPE and residents were distressed at the threat of the virus and being unable to receive visitors. “Video calling was a difficult thing for family members to adjust to, but it does make a difference now,” she says. “It is also always sad when a family member dies, but they’ve all had such incredible lives and it’s beautiful to be part of making their end of life comfortable.”

Thomas-Carter is now one of the older members of the Framland team, but she doesn’t see herself stopping any time soon. “As long as I do a good job and can remain well, I will keep going,” she says. “I work with a fabulous group over the age of 65 and we have lots to give and share with the young team, too. Age is just a number and the longer we all live, the more care we’ll need, so I’m very happy to help others while I can.”

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