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‘A guinea pig dived into my beard’
My father was a Santa and my wife got me into doing it. It’s the best thing I ever did. I do schools, universities, supermarkets, Christmas lights switch-ons … As soon as Santa comes along, everybody melts. One little girl brought her guinea pig, who leapt off her hand and dived straight into my Santa beard. The parents were in stitches while we tried to get him out. My favourite Christmas songs are Eartha Kitt’s sultry version of Santa Baby, because it gets all the adults in the mood to get up and have a boogie with Santa, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, because the lyrics are so pure. No Christmas songs drive me mad. It’s Christmas: they’re all great. Paul Fessi
‘Spike Jones is just so cheesy!’
I know I look the part. I wear the green Santa outfit from before Coca-Cola turned him red and white to match their branding, but if I just put a Christmas hat on, people shout “Oi Santa!” at me. Someone said I look more like a fat elf, which is fair enough. I’ve had lots of funny incidents. I once felt a tug on my beard, looked down and there was a two-year-old dangling from it. I do Santa for the domestic abuse charity IDAS, distributing donated presents to child survivors. My favourite song is obvious: Do They Know It’s Christmas?, because Band Aid drew attention to global inequality. The song that drives me nuts is [Spike Jones’s 1948 hit] All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. It’s just so cheesy. Really irritating! Arnold Warneken AKA Green Santa
‘I’d rather hear a grime Christmas song’
I was teaching at a school for kids with special educational needs and they asked me to be Santa. I wasn’t sure how the kids would process a Black Santa, so I made up this jokey character, Rasta Claus. The parents loved it – their children are classed as “different” so it made sense for them to have a “different” Santa. One kid once said, “You’re not the real Santa”, so I said I was Santa’s cousin and worked for him. He believed we were related because we both have white beards – he didn’t see skin colour. I love how children think. My favourite festive songs are Baby It’s Cold Outside, Winter Wonderland and When a Child Is Born. None of them mention Christmas but they couldn’t be more Christmassy. I’d rather hear something different than hear Mariah Carey for the 1,000th time – maybe a grime Christmas song or a punk version of Silent Night. Cleve Freckleton AKA Rasta Claus
‘I don’t like When Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney for obvious reasons!’
For me, Santa is the Christmas spirit. Families – especially with kids – are in awe, and you can feel the magic. It gets very hot in the costume, wig and beard. For the first hour you feel really uncomfortable, then your body starts to adjust. It’s always a challenge to go to the loo in costume. Kids always want to tell you what they want for Christmas, although you get some funny requests. A four-year-old girl told me she wanted a reindeer. My favourite song is Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson, because we did a choreographed dance to it in a Santa show and all the families joined in. The one I can’t bear is When Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney for obvious reasons but I make a joke of it. I say, “It only happened once!” Joseph Ridgely
‘Christmas Wrapping drives me bananas – though it’s a total earworm’
I used to be a science teacher but one day my daughter said: “Dad, your beard’s gone white. You could play Father Christmas.” As soon as I put the outfit on I feel warm and fluffy inside. If kids go, “Is that beard real?” I tug on it and say: “It feels real to me.” On Boxing Day I have to get a beard trim, otherwise I can’t get rid of him. My favourite song is Jingle Bells, believe it or not, because like Santa it’s very jolly and Christmassy. The songs that drive me nuts are things I’ve heard too much, like [Slade’s] Noddy Holder shouting: “It’s Chriiiiiistmmmmassss!” Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses drives me bananas – the singing leaves a lot to be desired, although I have to admit the riff is a total earworm. Keith Leech
‘Stop the Cavalry is a heartfelt plea to stop all war’
My favourite Christmas song is Jona Lewie’s Stop the Cavalry because it’s bouncy, has that wonderful brass section middle bit and is just a heartfelt plea to stop all war. I don’t like Nat King Cole’s The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot because it’s just so sad – the boy hasn’t got any parents, so he gets nothing at Christmas. Being Santa can be heartbreaking – I’ve had a child say to me: “I only get one present but my friend gets 30. Does that mean I’m naughty?” – but it’s almost like a calling. I went to see a little boy in hospital who’d been in a terrible accident. When we got talking, the room fell silent and people started crying. Afterwards I was virtually rugby tackled by his mum and dad, who said: “That’s the first time he’s spoken for six months.” That’s the power of Santa. Nigel Harvey AKA Santa Himself
‘You grin and bear Donny Osmond for the love of Christmas’
I’ve got a beard and wear braces. One day I was in a shop and someone shouted: “Oi Santa!” A couple of days later two blokes on bikes shouted the same thing. I thought: there must be something in this. So I became Santa. I must be convincing because a grandfather came up and said: “Thank you for the guitar you gave me when I was 12.” I love Doctor Who and am pretty sure that Santa is a Time Lord: lots of faces and the ability to charge around different places at different times. I’m a classical music buff so I’m very partial to Prokofiev’s Sleigh Ride. It was part of the trade test music when BBC Two was launched and I just loved listening to it there. If you hear any of them too often they drive you nuts. As a child I found Donny Osmond’s Christmas songs particularly distressing, but you grin and bear it for the love of Christmas. Simon Anthony
