3 hours ago
4
I’ve learned about life that sometimes things go badly wrong. But these same things can bring opportunity, and suddenly you can find your life turning in a more interesting direction. It’s useful to remember.
I grew up in rural Wiltshire and spent a lot of time outside, inside my own head. There’s something about being outside that allows me to think and dream. The absolute worst thing for me is to get stuck at my desk.
I didn’t want to be a writer. I always wanted to be an artist. That’s what I dreamed of – drawing.
I was very close to my maternal grandmother as a child. She taught me to laugh, not to take everything too seriously. She made me feel very loved.
My parents were passionate about visiting art galleries and museums. I feel like I’ve been to every art gallery in Britain. It taught me to look. And it made me feel like an art gallery is my space. I never felt intimidated. I never felt like I shouldn’t be there. I felt like I belonged.
People think I write for children. I don’t. I write for myself, usually to explore something or try to understand it better. I’ve just written a book that comes out of my own anxiety about climate change. I’m trying to feel hopeful and optimistic, and communicate that to children.
My worst habit is overthinking things. I waste so much time worrying about something I have or haven’t said. It’s exhausting.
I changed my name to Lauren when I was 25. My given name was Helen. It just started to not feel right to me. And then I thought: why should I have a name that I don’t really want?
There’s no point minding about getting older. It’s happening. As you age, you lose one thing, but you gain another. The older I get, the more important I think it is to use my time for joy. Reach for the things that make you happy. Take risks. Be brave.
The best advice I’ve ever been given? If you want to be a doormat, all you have to do is lie down. I was feeling down about the unfairness of something, and the harshness of that advice made me sit up and think. Generally I think you have a choice.
Giving up gymnastics is my greatest regret. Not really. That’s what my daughter, who recently gave up gymnastics, told me to say. In my case, the truth is gymnastics gave up on me.
People who have no regrets are lucky. I have regrets, definitely. They are little life lessons – reminders that if there is a next time, be braver.
The closest I came to death was when I was 16. My appendix burst during a snowstorm and I couldn’t get to hospital in Swindon. I remember being in excruciating pain and the vicar coming over to bless me. It didn’t occur to me that I might die. But I was lucky. A very good surgeon, who lived nearby, saved my life. I was told afterwards that I’d had two hours to live.
My greatest achievement is adopting my daughter. It took five years and was extremely difficult. I had to blindly believe it was going to happen, and then wait. And as the years rolled on, it just got harder and harder still. I have never strived harder for anything nor wanted anything more. She was most definitely worth the wait.
Clarice Bean: Smile by Lauren Child (HarperCollins, £7.99) is out now. Buy it at guardianbookshop.com
