What is the most disgusting thing you saw on the set of The Pitt?
I mean, American coffee. It’s bad over there. The de-gloved leg was gross. I saw a full vaginal birth. I drilled into a skull!
Did you enjoy that?
I did like that. I really liked that. But, actually, I broke the rig. I haven’t spoken about this publicly, actually. It was, like, a US$75,000 rig.
When you shoot, you shoot the same thing over again … and we’re shooting my coverage on my face. We’re not looking at the rig, so I have to fake it, right? So I faked it a bunch of times. And then we were shooting the rig’s coverage, and they went: “Do it.” And I only knew how tough it is to drill through an actual human skull because I’d talked to a bunch of doctors [about] how much force I should be putting on it. So I start doing it like I would a human skull. But this thing on the inside is made of styrofoam or something. So I go clean into that guy’s head. And it’s just silent.
So it looked like you’d torn a human head apart?
It was horrible. In a car crash, I wouldn’t have that much adrenaline. I regret everything.
You run an airport in your new show The Airport Chaplain. Who would be the worst two people to be sat in between on an airplane?
Sorry, Elmo. I love Elmo, I really do. But imagine that guy laughing for 15 hours straight from one side of you. Kermit on the other side – no no no no no. Kermit and Miss Piggy. And they’ve just had a divorce.
What has been your most cringe-worthy run-in with a celebrity?
When we started shooting The Pitt season one, I’d never been to LA before. I didn’t know celebrities were real … It was post-strike, post-Covid. It was empty. Then Abbott Elementary started shooting, and I love Abbott Elementary. Quinta Brunson makes that show, she’s amazing. She just worked really hard and she represents really good stuff to me. And she walked past me one day. I came out of the sound station, she walked past me and I went “AH!”, I screamed and I fell to my knees. And Jalen [Thomas Brooks, who plays Mateo] came running out of his trailer and was like, “What happened? Who died? Who’s hurt?” And it was just Quinta Brunson walking past me.

If you could shrink any person to have them sit on your shoulder for the rest of your life, who would you pick?
Is that like a punishment?!
No, they are a willing companion. They want to hang out with you!
If they’re willing, it could be somebody I don’t know. Martin Scorsese. And then I start directing, and I’m really good.
Tell us about your most recently played song.
I get really obsessed with songs. I’ll just listen to one song for two weeks straight. Right now, one of my favourite songs from my childhood is Machu Picchu by the Strokes. Nobody likes that song by the Strokes. It’s not one of their most popular songs but, for me, it tickles a part of my brain.
What is the strangest job you’ve ever had?
I was a simulated patient for medical schools. It was different every day. Some days you have appendicitis, so you’d have reflex pain or tenderness. When they figured out I could cry on cue, they’d give me a silicone baby and my baby would be sick and I would just cry. You’d be in a room with a one-way mirror, like an interrogation room. All the students would sit in the tutorial room and I would sit in the other room, and students would come in three at a time and try to navigate the situation. Everybody thinks they can handle it, and then you start crying in front of them and they panic. It was really fun.
What is your secret talent?
[Azeez tries to juggle using our camera lens caps and some scrunched-up pieces of paper. She does not necessarily succeed but must be commended for the valiant effort.]
Do you have a nemesis?
Honestly, me from five minutes ago. It’s so hard being alive and I have to live with me. Do you know what I’m saying?
If you had to appear on a reality TV show tomorrow, which would it be?
Nothing. I would never appear on reality TV. Oh, actually, why am I lying? I would love to be on a British show like Bake Off. I can’t bake though. I’d learn to bake and then I’d go on Bake Off.
When was the last time you lied?
I lie all the time. I love it. I think it’s so fun. Never genuine lies. But I’ll just be like: “I’m 45 years old.” And I’ll double down until they believe me. I actually had three birthdays on the set of The Airport Chaplain. That was fun. That was a good week. I had three birthdays in one week. And eventually I was the boy who cried wolf. By the time it was actually my birthday, nobody cared.
What is your most controversial pop culture opinion?
I think we should care less about pop culture. I’m so sorry but what is it contributing to us? There’s war, there are things happening in the world that matter. And then there are people being like, “Who wore this dress better?” Who cares? Who actually cares?
Comedy has a place. Art has a place. I don’t want to do pop culture a discredit by being like, “It’s all vapid”, because it’s not. Pop culture can illuminate our culture in a way. It’s like holding up a mirror to who we actually are. What do we care about? What are we doing? We can have genuine conversations about this. But, “We like this girl because she is pretty”, is a waste of everybody’s time.
Do you see your work as part of that pop culture that illuminates?
I’ve been very lucky. My bigger projects have been really impact-driven. My first film was about coercive control and gendered violence in domestic relationships. My second film was about queer joy. It was really fun and silly, and a different way of having impact. My first big TV show is about gun control in season one, and then violence against healthcare workers in season two. So there’s a real political impact-driven statement there.
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The Airport Chaplain is on SBS and SBS On Demand in Australia from 26 August

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