2 hours ago
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A one-off Christmas special must have the following traditional ingredients to be entitled to the name. First and most vitally, it must have a grumpy character to soften over the hour. (And it must be an hour – 75 minutes, tops. Anything longer and we’re out of letting-the-children-stay-up-and-watch-as-a-treat territory and that disqualifies it as a contender. Yes it’s a hangover from the days when television was broadcast at fixed points, instead of thrown into the digital ragbag to be pulled out at any time, but what is tradition if not such harkings-back? Come on).
Second, there must be snow. I know the planet is burning now, but please see above re tradition and harkings-back.
Third, the main parts must be played by great actors throwing their all into a family show and making it work despite a preposterous plot with a particularly unbelievable inciting incident that will be loudly objected to by both the very youngest and very oldest member (these being the most pedantic and exacting viewers) of every household’s audience, before the cosy story – its edges limned with melancholy – works its magic upon them and a blissful silence, interrupted only by the munching of Quality Street and muttered reminders not to put the wrappers back in the box, descends.
Stuffed (58 minutes) fits the bill perfectly. Guz Khan (co-creator and star of Man Like Mobeen) plays Arslan Farooqi, a grumpy but loving husband to Hannah (Morgana Robinson – or Morgana the Magnificent as she is known in this house, so wholeheartedly do we worship her borderline bonkers turn as Pippa Middleton in The Windsors), and father to their two daughters, Layla and Fern (Sophia Hussain and Eloide Bains).
When we meet them, he is grumbling about the cost of Christmas and Hannah is watching a video of her late mum, who died earlier in the year, and trying not to cry. The mood of both improves, however, when Arslan gets to work and finds out he has been given an £8,000 Christmas bonus – 10 times as much as anyone else has received!
Before you/Little Nipper/Grandad can say, “But this is clearly an administrative error. He should tell the accounts department immediately and just enjoy his proper Christmas bonus, of roughly the amount he must have been expecting given that this is something they evidently receive every year,” the family has decided to spend it on the holiday of a lifetime. (“No! At least put it in the bank and have a cushion that could last years!” “Ideally an Isa so your interest is tax-free!” Shush, Nipper. Shush, Grandad.) Arslan is initially resistant, but given the choice of Christmas Day spent watching GB News with Uncle Colin or amid spectacular winter landscapes decorated by the northern lights, he agrees with relative rapidity to the latter. Wise man.
Soon we are in Lapland, where the family – including Hannah’s dopey brother Jamie (Theo Barklem-Biggs) – meets lovely but lonely old lady Lily (Sue Johnston), who has come to scatter her beloved husband’s ashes under the northern lights. Hannah quickly becomes great friends with this kindly mother-figure.
Meanwhile, Arslan discovers that the £8,000 bonus was a mistake! His bosses are bombarding him with furious messages and demanding the money is immediately returned. But they’ve spent it! What can he do? His resourceful daughters, once they’ve realised what is up by sneakily reading his work emails, suggest winning the hotel’s dance competition and parlaying the $1,000 prize money into £8,000 via crypto investment. They succeed in the first part (largely because the girls have given their nearest rivals violent diarrhoea – which is also, when I come to think of it, a pretty common trope in festive specials, but one we won’t dwell on now). But Hannah insists on giving the winnings to Lily because she reminds her so much of her mum.
I won’t spoil the ending for you, in case you haven’t worked it out by now. I can only promise you no nasty surprises at the end of a charming hour with just enough quality jokes to keep things bouncing along, just enough sadness to keep you alive to the essential contradictions of the human condition, and a genuinely sweet, unembarrassed, age-appropriate handling of a Muslim-Christian family negotiating the holiday season together. Now finish those Quality Street and get to bed.
