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In 2015, I’d been living in Vanuatu for a year, coaching the Vanuatu women’s beach volleyball team as they aimed to qualify for the Rio Olympics. I was a volunteer through an Australian government program, and a new intake of Australians were arriving in Port Vila one afternoon in February so I went to the Australian High Commission to meet them.
I got chatting with this gorgeous and bubbly girl called Kath, who’d been volunteering in Indonesia. I thought we were meeting for the first time, but as I introduced myself, Kath explained that we had in fact met before, walking across Pyrmont Bridge in Sydney during our training weekend.
I’m still not sure how I didn’t remember her, as she was very attractive. She was also witty and easygoing. We chatted about volunteering, and how we were both keen on the outdoors and keeping fit. At another event the following day we exchanged numbers.
Waking up to a message from Kath asking if I wanted to go for a run made me feel very excited to say the least. I asked her to take a bus to Pango, where I was living, and we ran together to the beach.
Sweaty and enjoying each other’s company, we borrowed a paddleboard from my neighbour and took it out on the water in the secluded bay. We spent a good chunk of the morning paddleboarding, chatting away about our families, what we wanted to do after volunteering and things like refugee rights and social justice. We both had adventurous spirits and our worldviews were very similar. We could both sense the chemistry between us.
Later that night – at yet another social barbecue – I remember wanting to be by Kath’s side the whole time. I sensed she wanted to be with me too. The Australian Open men’s final between Djokovic and Murray was on the screen and I sat next to Kath near the back of the room. I started gently rubbing her back and suddenly we were holding hands.
The next afternoon, we met again for another paddle out in the bay. As the sun was setting over the clear, calm waters, we sat on the board facing each other. It felt like the perfect setting for a romantic first kiss, but then Kath started explaining she didn’t want to get involved with anyone while she was in Vanuatu. I was disappointed, but respected her decision. Then, as I was preparing to paddle us back to shore, she leaned in to kiss me. I was taken aback, but very very happy.
Back on dry land, I cooked us dinner and Kath stayed the night.
Kath’s assignment was on an island called Malekula and I was based in Port Vila, so we knew any relationship we may be starting would have to be long-distance. A few days later, in Kath’s hotel room, she told me she loved me. I said it back, with no hesitation. It was the first time I’d said those three words to anybody.
We parted, but I visited her as often as I could. On weekends, we’d trek to remote waterfalls, swim at deserted beaches and cook local recipes. I felt so lucky.
Then, in March 2015, news came of a huge cyclone approaching. Kath was evacuated from Malekula to Port Vila, and all the volunteers were moved to the same hotel for safety. The winds were intense that night, reaching more than 300km/h. We crammed together under the stairwell as the roof of the hotel creaked and groaned. No one slept.
When it was deemed safe to leave, we spent two days helping to clean up and deliver food and water. Even though we were doing as much as we could, it was frustrating not to be able to do more. Kath and I bonded on a deeper level during those days. One evening she held my hand, looked at me and said: “We’re doing our best.” It really helped and it was true. We continued helping until the bigger organisations ramped up their relief efforts.
Kath moved in with me shortly after that. Her assignment on the island was shut down after the cyclone and she volunteered in Port Vila instead. It was blissful for a while, but Kath struggled with anxiety after the cyclone and in August she returned to Australia for three weeks. I flew over to visit, and we returned to Vanuatu together – she wanted me to complete my assignment and I was determined to support her recovery. When my role finished in May 2016, we decided to move to Lismore, Australia, permanently.
We’ve been together for a decade now. I proposed to Kath in Ubud, Bali, and we married in 2019 in Lismore – where Kath grew up. She has a beautiful soul, and is thoughtful, caring and kind. We have three children, a four-year-old boy and twin girls who are five months old.
Parenthood has brought out the best in both of us, and it has helped us reflect more deeply on how we want to live our lives. We’ve been back to Port Vila three times since we left and we plan on moving back in a few years’ time so our children can experience island life too – and the magic of Vanuatu that brought us all together in the first place.
