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Two in five teenagers in intimate relationships say they have experienced emotional or physical abuse, including control, pressure or violence, according to a survey in England and Wales.
“Teenage years are often when children first begin to explore romantic relationships,” the report says. “At their best, these can bring joy and companionship and teach important lessons about trust.
“But for too many, they are marked instead by control, pressure or violence – experiences that can undermine a young person’s safety and affect their daily life.”
The online poll, which asked 11,000 13- to 17-year-olds about their experience of violence in teen relationships, was carried out by Savanta on behalf of the Youth Endowment Fund (YEF), a government-backed charity that works to prevent children from becoming involved in violence.
Acknowledging the limitations of such a survey, the YEF said a quarter (28%) of teenagers who were polled claimed to have been in a romantic or sexual relationship in the past year. Of those, 39% said they had experienced abuse, 15% said they had suffered physical or sexual abuse and more than a third (36%) reported emotional abuse.
Behaviours included partners checking their phone or social media (19%), monitoring their location (14%) and criticism of their body or appearance (11%). One in 10 of those in relationships said they felt forced or under pressure to have sex, 12% felt afraid to disagree, 13% felt they couldn’t leave and 5% said explicit images of themselves had been shared online.
“Although girls were slightly more likely to receive emotional or physical abuse from a partner than boys, the difference was small (41% v 37%),” the report states. “Girls were more likely to say their partner had made them feel they couldn’t leave, made them afraid to disagree, criticised their appearance or put pressure on them to have sex. Boys, meanwhile, were more likely to report having explicit images of themselves posted online.”
Three-quarters of those who experienced abuse said it had had an effect on their day-to-day lives. Two out of five said they felt worried and bad about themselves, while 39% had trouble sleeping, lost their appetite and struggled to concentrate.
More than a third (34%) said their relationships with friends and family had been affected and more than one in five (22%) said they had avoided going to school or college as a result.
Jon Yates, YEF CEO, said: “Evidence shows high-quality lessons delivered by a trained teacher or youth worker can make a difference. Every teenager should learn what a healthy relationship looks like – and every school needs the funds, training and support to make that happen.”
Zara*, a YEF youth advisory board member, said: “I think there needs to be more conversations about understanding your boundaries. And not just in relationships, in friendships too.
“I also think we need to educate young people about what exactly relationship violence is and the different aspects of it. Often, when you think of it, you think of just one thing. But there are so many different scenarios that can contribute.”
Kay*, 18, a youth adviser for the education charity Let Me Know (LMK) which works with young people to prevent relationship abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault, told the Guardian teen relationships were nerve-racking.
“No one knows what they’re doing. It feels like people are vulnerable. It’s very common for girls to become isolated from their friends and it all becomes about a boy. When it goes wrong it becomes very hard to get them out of it.”
Kay also described a culture where boys belittle girls and are critical of their appearance. “Boys act as if the guy is doing the girl a favour by being with them. When it’s physical abuse, everyone thinks they know what physical abuse looks like. When it’s emotional abuse, it’s harder for the person who is being abused to recognise it.”
Schools try their best, she says. “But I feel like schools are always years behind the problem. They are not capturing things as early as they could.” At home, she said “parents should not assume their child is not experiencing these things. Make it an active conversation to help that young person.”
LMK’s CEO, Deirdre Kehoe, said: “The results from this year’s survey underline the importance of breaking the cycle of abuse. Without effective relationship education, young people’s understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships is too often left unchallenged until even further harm is done.”
The Department for Education was contacted for comment.
* Names have been changed
