You be the judge: my flatmate works from home full-time – should he pay more of the bills?

9 hours ago 3

The prosecution: Maeve

I’m in the office four days out of five, while Richard works at home and racks up the energy bills

My flatmate and friend Richard works from home as a full-time copywriter, while I have a job at a property firm, and go into the office four days a week.

We have lived amicably together for nearly four years but see the world quite differently, especially when it comes to bills. I think things should be equitable, rather than equal. Richard is more of a “it all comes out in the wash” kind of guy, which was all well and good until he started working from home more.

After the pandemic, he didn’t go back to the office at all, whereas I did. And so, with the changes in our routines, I thought it would be fairer if he paid a bit more towards the bills. I mentioned it in passing around two years ago, but we didn’t end up doing it.

My concern with bills mostly comes up in winter, when Richard likes to run the heating all day. He says he doesn’t, but the bills suggest otherwise. Last year we got a bill of over £100 in January and I wasn’t even here – I was travelling. I still split it with Richard, but I wasn’t happy.

I’d like to avoid doing that this year by splitting the electricity and heating 60/40. Of course it’s impossible to work out kilowatts per person, but I think my suggestion is more than fair as Richard is home almost all the time and doesn’t like to travel like I do. Along with his laptop and the constant boiling of the kettle – he drinks eight cups of tea a day – he also likes to run a dehumidifier in our flat. I support that, but it all helps to rack up the electricity bill.

This sounds like I’m complaining about his habits but I’m really not. I just think if he wasn’t working from home, our bills would be a lot lower, and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask someone to pay their share. Richard was open to doing this before, but now it’s come down to it, he has told me I am “tighter than a duck’s arse”. I don’t think that’s fair. We earn about the same, so it’s not a huge deal. I’d also be open to doing it only during the winter months, because that’s when the bills are higher. Hopefully readers will support me on this one and see that this is the fairest way to live with a flatmate.

The defence: Richard

I don’t mind when Maeve has her boyfriend over or leaves the heating on at night. A 50/50 split is fair

Maeve and I are both 33 and have lived in house shares before. I’ve never heard of the kind of setup she is proposing and think it’s a bit ridiculous.

She first suggested changing our bills back in 2022, when she went back to the office after lockdown and I stayed at home, but I fobbed her off back then. Now she’s bringing it up again. I reckon she’s a bit jealous because I work from home all the time and her office doesn’t allow it. She’s also panicking because our bills went up recently, by about £60 a month. But that’s not that much – only £30 each.

I have suggested switching electricity and heating providers to find something cheaper, but Maeve says her stance would be the same even if we did, because I work from home full-time and, to her, it’s not “fair”.

I find this a bit hypocritical as she has her boyfriend stay over a lot, which pushes the price of everything up. But you don’t see me counting how many showers he has when he’s here, or how often they turn the oven on to cook, or how long they watch TV. Maeve said I run the dehumidifier all day, but that benefits her too, as it sucks moisture out of the air in a communal space. She also mentioned that when I’m at home I like to drink tea, but doesn’t everyone? How can we police how many cups of tea you’re allowed to make?

I can understand the heating issue. I did say that I’d turn it on less, or just for half the day, so it’s not just me benefiting from it. But Maeve likes to have it on when she sleeps. I think that’s a waste of money, and would prefer to turn it off before bed.

My point is, our differences really do all come out in the wash. Keeping tabs is silly because we could go on and on point-scoring like this. I haven’t raised all this with Maeve until now – I’m hoping she gets it and that people side with me. When you live with a friend, you split everything down the middle. I think that’s the fairest way. Maeve is panicking because the bills have gone up, but that’s no one’s fault. We should keep things as they are, or switch providers.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Richard pay more?

You know you’ve lost the argument about being tight when you’re counting how many cups of tea someone is drinking. Maeve would have more of a case if her boyfriend didn’t stay over so often and she didn’t leave the heating on all night. Richard is completely in the clear.
Jack, 32

House-sharing is an arrangement based on mutual trust and respect, and Maeve’s suggestion of splitting costs by usage would erode that trust. Also, her love of travel isn’t relevant here. I hope she can put her and Richard’s relationship first and split things 50/50.
Jasper, 35

Richard is not guilty. Even so, he should apologise to Maeve for his poor communication: fobbing her off for a prolonged time, calling her cheap, her arguments ridiculous and hypocritical, and then saying, “I haven’t really raised all of this with Maeve until now.” That is really immature.
Benjamin, 40

By offering to switch providers, Richard is making a concession that on its own would almost offset the bills increase – and has volunteered to reduce his consumption. Maeve having the heating on at night is the real crime here. Let Richard enjoy his eight cuppas a day without shame!
Kieran, 31

Anyone who recommends switching provider is a savvy consumer in my book. Splitting bills depending on your housemate’s (and their partner’s!) consumption is petty, especially as they have similar earnings.
Laura, 33