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Late-night hosts reacted to Donald Trump’s birthday drawing for Jeffrey Epstein in 2003, and his visit on Monday to the Museum of the Bible.
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has kept close tabs on Trump’s never-ending Jeffrey Epstein scandal, and on Tuesday, he noted that “the story of his disturbing friendship with Jeffrey Epstein keeps getting more.”
Earlier this summer, the Wall Street Journal reported that back in 2003, Trump provided a lewd letter and cartoon to a book celebrating Epstein’s birthday – a “Picasso of pervitude”, as the Late Show host put it. The Journal reported that the note was framed by a doodle of a naked woman, and featured Trump’s squiggly signature “below her waist, mimicking pubic hair”.
The note read, in part “Happy birthday – and may every day be another wonderful secret.”
Trump denied the letter’s existence, and sued the Wall Street Journal, owned by former ally Rupert Murdoch, for $20bn. “Turns out, existent,” Colbert cheered, because on Monday, the House oversight committee released the letter. “That sure as hell looks legit,” said Colbert. “It’s directly from the Jeffrey Epstein estate, it’s exactly what the Wall Street Journal reported, and the signature identically matches a bunch of ones from the same era.
“And you know what they say: if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, that duck should not be allowed within 300 yards of a school.”
But “despite all this evidence, Trump’s allies are pretending like there’s no evidence,” Colbert continued. Asked if he believed the note was real, the speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, said, “I don’t. They say it’s not.” A few Republican lawmakers simply avoided the question, claiming they had not seen the note. But “the most pathetic denial of all” came from Eric Trump, who argued that his father “does not sketch out cartoon drawings”.
Colbert broke out his teeth-forward Eric Trump impression: “My dad certainly does not write out birthday cards. My dad doesn’t even remember birthdays. What he does is he goes out on a business trip, and when he comes back he brings you a present: a new mommy.”
Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel spent most of his Tuesday enjoying “what could best be described as a full-on Maga freakout” after the House oversight committee released images of Jeffrey Epstein’s 50th birthday book from 2003.
The book “has turned into a gift that keeps on giving”, he said. It not only includes the note from Trump but also a photo of Trump handing Epstein a joke novelty check, made out to suggest that he purchased a “fully depreciated woman” for $22,500. “We know the check probably isn’t real, because Trump only pays women when they sue him,” Kimmel quipped. “But this gives you some insight into the fun hijinks and sense of humor Jeff and his buddy Donny shared with their pals.
“And while our famously verbose president suddenly has no comment on this, his sycophants are left to defend him,” Kimmel noted. “Last night, I joked that Trump would blame this on Joe Biden’s autopen, and I was wrong. Congressman Tim Burchett of Tennessee did that for him.”
Burchett also added that he had “never known Trump to be much of an artist either”.
“Oh, well then he couldn’t have done it!” Kimmel deadpanned. “What are you talking about? He’s an amazing artist – he’s a con artist, he’s a bullshit artist. Not an artist? He paints his whole face orange every day.”
Other Republicans have claimed that it doesn’t look like Trump’s signature at all (it does). Between that and the autopen allegations, “which one is it?” Kimmel laughed. “Is it exactly his signature, or is it not his signature at all? It can’t be both!
“And here’s the other thing: this book is 22 years old,” he continued. “Who would’ve been faking Donald Trump’s signature in a private birthday book in January of 2003? The Apprentice wasn’t even on the air yet! This would require an extraordinary amount of planning.
“And you know this is getting to him, because he did something today that he rarely does: he said nothing.” Trump was uncharacteristically quiet on Tuesday, holed up in his office. He provided only one comment: “I don’t comment on something that’s a dead issue.”
“Really? You’re still screaming about the election in 2016,” Kimmel retorted. “You brought more dead things back to life than Dr Frankenstein.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers recounted Trump’s visit on Monday to the Museum of the Bible in Washington DC, where he announced that he had donated his personal Bible, gifted to him by his mother, to the museum. “And it’s even more valuable, because it’s still in the original wrapping,” Meyers joked.
Meyers also touched on Trump’s birthday letter to Epstein – “‘so you do remember birthdays!’ yelled Eric.
“I mean, look at that,” Meyers added. “That’s a letter that the current president of the United States sent to the world’s most notorious sex trafficker. Anyway, hope you had a nice time at the Museum of the Bible.”
In other news, Joe Biden has decided to build his presidential library in Delaware, “where it will compete with Delaware’s other biggest attraction, the border with Maryland”, Meyers joked.
During a reception on Friday with Republican lawmakers, Trump spoke about the possibility of deploying the national guard in New Orleans. “Let me guess: Hegseth’s idea?” joked Meyers next to an illustration of the secretary of defense enjoying Bourbon Street.
And in a post last week on Truth Social, Trump claimed that Democratic lawmakers were only advocating for Epstein survivors in response to the party’s low approval rating. “That’s ridiculous. Democrats never do anything to help their approval rating,” Meyers quipped.
