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The next interval act is “electric swing,” which is either a music genre or something sold at a Berlin sex club.
However this is Eurovision, where all genres eventually become “people in sequins shouting over a saxophone,” so I’m prepared to keep an open mind.
Either Electro Velvet were eleven years ahead of their time, or Austria is still catching up. You decide.
From Martin in the arena!
If you’ve ever wondered how well it works with 10,000 people needing to go to the toilet and buy snacks and drinks all at once after COSMO finishes then the answer is ... not great.
The merch stall has done amazing business at the venue, hoodies and tote bags are among the items sold out. You can still spend €30 on some Eurovision socks though. I might skip that.
Interval act time! Erika Vikman singing a happy hardcore version of Dana’s All Kinds Of Everything was not on my Eurovision bingo card, but I do now urgently need it on Spotify. She’s joined by Lordi and then the ceremonial annual appearance of Alexander Rybak’s violin.
By the time Verka Serduchka arrives to perform Puppet On A String this feels like the sort of thing you hallucinate after twelve consecutive hours of Eurovision. But then Lordi start singing Save Your Kisses For Me and the entire concept of reality finally collapses in on itself.
Also, Ruslana is there, and I would just like to add that I once shared a taxi with her in Madrid. She is very lovely and fun.
Do I love this hot mess? Yes, obviously. This is what Eurovision was invented for. Lordi Schlager Hits album immediately please.
As we head into the interval and prepare for approximately nine hours of scoring, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Victoria Swarovski and Michael Ostrowski for their efforts tonight, and also respectfully ask that Eurovision never makes me watch them host anything ever again.
Between the painfully strained banter, the hostage-grade autocue delivery and the overwhelming sense that they’d been introduced to each other roughly four minutes before going live, it’s been quite the experience. Petra Mede, if you can hear us, please blink twice.
And that’s it! The songs have all been sung, which means we now enter Eurovision’s most sacred tradition: sitting through seventeen recaps, pretending to enjoy the interval act, and slowly losing all sense of time.
25. 🇦🇹 Austria: COSMÓ – Tanzschein
We’re wrapping up this year’s show with the host nation Austria, and COSMÓ (caps lock drink, if you’re still standing) singing Tanzschein, which means ‘dance license’. My Austrian husband LOVES this, but then he can understand the lyrics and appreciate that they’re actually quite deep and thoughtful.
For those of us who are only on Duolingo German level 9, however, it feels a bit dated musically and the dancers in silver animal masks make little sense. But essentially the club is a uber-masc jungle of animals, and COSMÓ wants to introduce a license that only admits people who live for the dance. So Euroclub, basically. Got it, and here for Austria bringing the happy finish.
24. 🇷🇴 Romania: Alexandra Căpitănescu - Choke Me
Only two songs left! Time for a rock anthem from Romania, and apparently the whole choking theme is metaphorical, although lyrics like “born for you to control” and “love me, make my lungs explode” do make you question how firmly she’s digging in.
It’s a shame, because Alexandra has a fantastic voice and incredible stage presence, and lyrics aside, it’s a really strong performance. But it also makes me feel a bit uneasy, and I’m afraid can’t quite switch that part of my brain off. Regardless, I fully expect this to do extremely well this evening.
23. 🇳🇴 Norway: JONAS LOVV - YA YA YA
Time for Norway, with JONAS LOVV (DRINK) singing YA YA YA, which is essentially Benson Boone doing Seven Nation Army via the medium of Måneskin.
Glam rock isn’t usually my thing, but this is actually great - JONAS has bags of stage presence and fully commits to the strut. I suspect his carnival fishing waders may be the closest we get to lederhosen tonight, so savour the moment.
That said, we do need to talk about the lyric “I got no self control / left it right all over you and your pretty clothes.” Eww, JONAS. This is cashmere. Have some respect.
I’ve just been told that Linda Lampenius appeared in series 9 of Baywatch. She played a European violinist who gets stranded on a yacht, and there’s some kind of smuggling plot involving her violin case. I feel like I definitely need to watch this.
22. 🇮🇹 Italy: Sal Da Vinci - Per Sempre Sì
OK, time for Italy’s Sal Da Vinci with Per Sempre Si. Please stop whatever you’re doing and watch, because rarely has a Sanremo winner split the Italian public quite like this one. For some, it’s a joyfully old-school Italian love song that makes you want to dance round your kitchen singing into a giant pepper grinder. For others, it’s painfully naff 1970s disco with no business being anywhere near Eurovision in 2026.
I’m very much in the LOVE camp. Yes, the only thing that would make this Italian wedding any cheesier is parmesan raining from the rafters, but I don’t care, because it radiates pure joy and I cannot stop smiling. Don’t miss the splendidly camp Buck’s Fizz-style skirt rip towards the end. Douze points, no notes, more prosecco.
21. 🇨🇾 Cyprus: Antigoni – JALLA
Love Island veteran Antigoni from Cyprus (via North London) had a bit of a vocal nightmare on Thursday, and it was by no means guaranteed that JALLA (caps lock DRINK) would make it through. But she did, so let’s see if tonight’s an improvement.
JALLA means “more” in Greek, so we can now add that to the “bring it” courtesy of Greece earlier. Between the two of them, we’re now ready to order in any taverna. It’s a high-energy, OPA-heavy girl bop in the traditional Cypriot Shakira style, featuring an outfit assembled from what appears to be strategic fabric remnants. Vocally, this is a LOT better than Thursday, but…still not great.
“You want more?” asks Antigoni. I mean, in principle yes – JALLA is a proper banger. In practice…let’s take a moment.
20.🇸🇪 Sweden: FELICIA - My System
Time for Sweden to do their immaculately polished, mildly intimidating Sweden thing, this year courtesy of FELICIA (caps lock DRINK) with a full-throttle techno banger. We’ve got pounding bass, an industrial quantity of lasers, and what appears to be sparkly PPE. Because safety first, even when we rave.
On paper, this is extremely my sort of nonsense, but to my ears it’s giving strong “lost Cascada B-side circa 2006” vibes, and while that is a very specific pleasure, Sweden can usually be relied on to aim a bit higher than the Eurodance bargain bin. I want more, Sweden. JALLA. Oh no wait, that’s coming up next.
19. 🇱🇹 Lithuania: Lion Ceccah - Sólo Quiero Más
Time for something a little…alternative. How you feel about this will depend entirely on whether you were ever deeply traumatised by a) the Tin Man in The Wizard of Oz, or b) a living statue in Bath in 1981. If so, maybe watch this from behind a cushion. If not, stick it in the Louvre, this is performance art.
Apparently Lion Ceccah has been sprayed silver at all times backstage since rehearsals began, which is almost certainly terrible for his skin, but also a level of commitment to the bit you have to respect. It’s a bold and mildly baffling warning about the dangers of AI, and probably genius. Will it trouble the scoreboard? Who knows. Will it haunt a subset of viewers for years to come? Absolutely.
