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What even was this? What does any of it mean? In an extraordinary, bewildering, borderline nonsensical game, England romped to their fifth-highest total of all time before they skittled South Africa for their second-lowest to win by the largest margin in the history of the format – the teams divided in the end by 342 runs.
For the home side this was every bit as ecstatic as the grizzly defeat in the series opener had been miserable, as centuries from Jacob Bethell – the very first of his career – and Joe Root – not his – helped England to post 414 for five, and were followed by a magnificent display with the ball from Jofra Archer as South Africa lost all nine wickets – their captain, Temba Bavuma, unable to bat because of a calf strain – for just 72.
England scored at least two runs in each of their 50 overs; Archer’s first five included three wicket maidens, and by the end of them he had four wickets and had conceded just five. He stayed on for a sixth and a seventh, not wanting to snip the magic thread, and if those perhaps included his best single delivery of all – to Corbin Bosch, who was a complete irrelevance as the ball whispered sweet nothings to his off-stump on its way past at 93mph – there would be no more breakthroughs.
He had already done enough damage, helped by that already inflicted by England’s batters. For the second time in this series the home team lost the toss and were put in to bat but, while on the first occasion they collapsed, this time they conquered. In addition to their two centurions Jamie Smith (off 48 balls) and Jos Buttler (32) both scored precisely 62, and only Ben Duckett – playing his final innings of an intense summer and apparently in need of the rest he has finally been granted – looked in anything less than sweet touch.
As pleased as England would have been with their total, Bethell’s contribution to it was particularly sweet. They have gone all in on the 21-year-old’s talent: just over six weeks before he turns 22 this was his 33rd international innings, his 141st as a senior professional, and if his promise across all formats has always been evident – three half-centuries on his first tour, a white-ball trip to West Indies, and three more on his second, a red-ball outing in New Zealand, attest to that – he had clearly been desperate for this affirmation. As the ball sped through the covers to carry him to triple figures he ran down the pitch, arms outstretched, and aeroplaned into the arms of Root, celebrating his first senior century with someone en route to his 73rd.
South Africa’s chances of reaching a daunting target of 415, already diminished by Bavuma’s injury, evaporated as both Aiden Markram and Wiaan Mulder departed for ducks in the first two overs, and Ryan Rickelton followed in the third having scored a comparatively princely one.
Their run of wins against England in this format thereby ends on four, England beating them here for the first time since the teams last played a dead-rubber final game in a three-match series the Proteas had already wrapped up, in Kimberley in February 2023.
There is something of a theme in that regard, and since they won their third game against Afghanistan in Sharjah last September South Africa have played one-day international series in Ireland, Pakistan, Australia and now England and lost the final match on each occasion. It is just a couple of weeks since they last found themselves 2-0 up in a series with one to play, and on that occasion Australia scored 431 and won by 276.
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The day started with South Africa dropping Senuran Muthusamy and Lungi Ngidi, and then they also dropped the quality of their fielding, with Smith (inexplicably, by Matthew Breetzke, on 23) and Bethell (puzzlingly, by Nandre Burger, on 44) earning reprieves from dropped catches. When South Africa’s turn came to bat they had lost five wickets by the time they scored as many runs as they had given away in wides.
They displayed all the drive, focus and determination of a team that did not see any particularly convincing reason why they ought to be here. Their display in the field was riddled with errors, with the ball it was plump with wides, and they batted with a combination of befuddlement and panic that suggested they might not have been entirely sure whether the government’s emergency alert, which sounded with just a few deliveries of England’s innings remaining, had in fact been a test at all and were therefore mulling over, even as Archer zinged the ball towards them at upwards of 90mph, whether they should play for their country or run for their lives. They will want to forget this performance, but it is the kind of result that will haunt them.
