3 hours ago
4
Name: Billionaire nannies.
Age: Mid-20s, or thereabouts.
Appearance: Neat, presentable, university educated, Early Years-trained, first-aid certified, possibly multilingual.
Sounds like hard work. That’s the life of a billionaire nanny for you.
I didn’t realise the nanny game was so lucrative. The nannies aren’t billionaires; they just work for billionaires.
I suppose that makes a lot more sense. Even so, these nannies can expect salaries upwards of £150k.
Did you say £150k? Why? Are you interested in becoming a nanny?
No, but with that money I could probably subcontract all the actual childcare. Chances are you’ll be part of a “childcare team” anyway, providing round-the-clock coverage.
Any other perks? Free meals, transport and accommodation, luxury holidays, a pension, that sort of thing.
And these nanny jobs are actually available? Recruiters can’t fill them fast enough. According to Business Insider, gen Z graduates, weary of thankless, AI-threatened entry-level jobs, are increasingly turning to the world of “private service” – ie working for the super-rich – which is better paid and more satisfying.
But how many billionaires can there be? The most recent figures say there are more than 3,000. And they each require a lot of staff – executive assistants, chefs, chauffeurs, security – across multiple residences, so it’s not just nannies who are in demand.
Any downsides to private service? Well, privacy is paramount – you’ll almost certainly have to sign an NDA.
I don’t mind. And the hours can be erratic – billionaires change their minds a lot.
I guess that’s a natural consequence of having many, many options. And: rich people are crazy.
What do you mean? For example, a recent job listing advertised for a private tutor qualified to address the “needs of children from ultra-high-net-worth and royal families”.
What kind of tutor? “A consummate professional with several years of elite experience.”
I meant what subjects. Maths? Science? The successful applicant will be guiding the child “on his first steps toward becoming an English gentleman”.
I see. And what would that entail? Plenty: preparing for acceptance to a top school, imparting an appreciation of classical music and art, along with instruction in sports including cricket, tennis and rugby.
What’s so weird about that? The child in question is one.
Why would anyone apply for such a patently daft position? The starting salary is £180k
I’m in. Sorry, applications have closed.
Do say: “And that is why I’m the ideal candidate to form a key part of your elite personnel infrastructure.”
Don’t say: “Go and watch Peppa Pig while I sort out my investment portfolio.”
