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In Somerville, Massachusetts, a community bike path has, in recent months, become a hotly contested political constituency. A cat with a distinctive black smudge on her nose, Berry, had been sighted on the path by a number of concerned neighbours, who reported her missing. But she wasn’t actually anywhere she shouldn’t have been – Berry is an outdoor cat who lives in the area – so her family put up a poster dubbing her the bike path’s “mayor” to let neighbours know not to worry. It wasn’t long though before things got out of hand. How come Berry got to be mayor, asked other pet owners?
A heated election is now under way. There have been dirty tactics (at one point, Berry’s campaign sign was stolen), scandal (candidates were outraged when a local vet claimed to be “sponsoring” the race), and even death: Pirate, the candidate whose family took it upon themselves to set up the online ballot, died unexpectedly, mid-race. Voting (for Somerville locals only) ends on 5 September – and with 73 pets currently in the running, there’s plenty of choice. So who are the runners and riders?
The incumbent: Berry
“Make cats outside again,” reads Berry’s sign campaigning for re-election. The current mayor is a three-year-old black and white cat who can be found on the bike path “daily, when I’m not visiting my humans”, the literature says. She has a dedicated team of humans around her: seven-year-old chief of staff Amias and five-year-old chief canvasser Emmeline; as well as campaign manager Mallory, a 39-year-old scientist. Her team claims she has improved community morale and should she be elected, will “unite the community under cat supremacy”.
The challenger: Orange Cat
Orange Cat is a seven-year-old ginger tom, whose owner, 42-year-old comedian Janet, says he is “pro-democracy and pro-free and fair elections” and is also “against rats”. His solution to Somerville’s rat problem is simple: he will “eat them”.
The fan favourite: Minerva
The simplest – and most intriguing – sign to have appeared along the bike path features a one-word slogan: “CRIME”. This provocative message has won nine-year-old Minerva many supporters online – despite the fact that, as an indoor cat, she has never been seen on the bike path. “Her minions monitor the path for her,” say her owners. “CRIME” remains her sole policy.
The bike-hater: Cartwheel
Perhaps controversially for a cat who wishes to be in charge of a cycle lane, six-year-old Cartwheel’s campaign has decreed that, “like all things starting with ‘B’ (buses, basketballs, brooms), bikes are scary, and there should be fewer of them on the bike path”. Cartwheel’s owner, 15-year-old Susan, says he is an advocate of “safe outside time for all cats”, and wears a harness and lead to venture out. In fact, he runs a harness lending library for other local cats and can also do tricks, such as using buttons to demand things from his humans.
The duo: Clementine and Nix
Two-year-old siblings Clementine and Nix are running for mayor and vice-mayor respectively. Their owner Lily, 11, says the pair’s goals are lengthy: “Catnip will be planted along the bike path”, “If a cat is napping they must not be disturbed” and “No one is allowed to pet a cat without the cat’s permission” are just some of the rules the pair would like to implement, should they be elected.
The baby: Ernie
At just four months old, black kitten Ernie is the youngest candidate in the race. Though he hasn’t yet visited the bike path, his owners say his policies include “adopt, don’t shop”, “free kibble” and “universal pet health insurance”.
The climate activist: Hugo
Hugo, who was taken in by 61-year-old retiree Jenny, in January, is probably “about a year” old – but as a rescue cat, even he can’t be sure. Jenny says he has “a huge brain” and is “constantly trying to understand how things work” and would apply this to addressing the climate crisis so it’s never too hot for him and other cats to go outside.
The one who is not a cat: Picosita
Although the majority of mayoral candidates are cats, it wasn’t long before dogs began planting campaign signs, too. If elected, three-year-old chihuahua Picosita, who lives along the bike path, “will fight for bunnies, birds, and all the small neighbours who can’t bark for themselves”, her owner, 31-year-old data analyst Valerie, says. “Tired of fat cat politicians?” reads her poster. “I’m all ears.”
The one who is not a cat or a dog: Nagi
Seven-year-old Nagi is the only tortoise on the ballot: His owner, 24-year-old Trader Joe’s crew member, Shay routinely travels along the bike path with Nagi in his pocket. Nagi’s policies, says Shay, are “centred on waste management” because he has “accidentally nibbled on some trash before.”
The nepo-baby: Korben
Politics runs in the family of five-year-old Korben Dallas, whose owner, Jake Wilson, is in the running to be Somerville’s human mayor. Wilson and Dallas have matching campaign posters: while Wilson runs on “Leadership. Values. Action”, Dallas’s slogan is: “Naps. Tuna. Pets”. Dallas’s owners, 14-year-old Ingrid and 11-year-old Margot, regularly use the bike path and report back to him (as he is an indoor cat) and say he is keen to put a speed limit on the community path, enforce the state-wide ban on motorised vehicles on bikeways and to deal with the rodent problems.
The one who isn’t actually running for mayor: Wasil
Five-year-old Wasil doesn’t venture outside himself, but lives in an apartment overlooking the bike path – so runs “a 9-to-5 surveillance operation” from his window perch, according to his owners. He is not actually running for mayor, but has put himself forward for a newly created position: attorney general. Here, his focus would be on “keeping the streets safe “ as he has an excellent vantage point “for spotting both birds and wrongdoing”. His owners say he also wants to put an end to “body-shaming” as everyone who walks past his window says “Whoa, he’s so big!”
