2 hours ago
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The fishmen cometh. Or, to put it another way – The War Between the Land and the Sea, the long-awaited Doctor Who spin-off from Russell T Davies concentrating on the adventures of Unit rather than the double-hearted man from Gallifrey, is finally here.
RTD stalwart Russell Tovey stars as Barclay, an everyman figure who soon – two excellent puns incoming – finds himself out of his depth, nay a fish out of water, as he is forced to take the lead in the geopolitical crisis that surrounds him. Barclay is a low-level clerk with Unit who, through the kind of bureaucratic snafu that you may in your salad days have believed was confined to fictional romps aimed largely at children over the festive period until age and experience poured slugs into them, ends up being part of the operation sent to deal with the discovery by a group of Spanish fishers of – well, fishmen. Fishfolk.
These creatures, the leader of the expedition, General Austin Pierce (Colin McFarlane), explains, are Sea Devils. They inhabited the Earth long before we did but became trapped beneath its surface when the planet reformed while they hibernated. Each member of the species – renamed “homo aqua” for the duration – has a pearl embedded in its neck, the purpose of which is unknown. If this conceit strikes you as a little clunky – well, I suggest you pour yourself a shot of Bailey’s and get used to it. We are very much in mid-tier Whoniverse and setting your expectations any higher will only damage such delights as remain. OK? OK. Onward.
Two set pieces full of special effects later (ground turns boggy, soldiers and fishy corpse disappear beneath, experts baffled, fishy army emerges from the sea to screech terrifyingly at Unit and rocky outcrops crop up in waterways around the world to hijack global communications), an interspecies meeting is convened to find out what these be-gilled botherers want.
What they want, it turns out as their leader, Salt (Gugu Mbatha-Raw, whose uninspired character name may require another shot of Bailey’s and a small eyeroll), says, is to partake of a modern morality tale delivered with the subtlety of a great white ramming a small boat. Salt opens discussions by slamming down a parcel of her dead babies “who should have been born at the turn of the third cold current” and were not because humans have poisoned and polluted everything.
Homo aqua will only continue this discussion, she says, with Barclay as the leader of the human side. Why? Because presidents, politicians, ambassadors and military leaders cannot be trusted and because he was the only one to show respect to the body of the creature killed by the fishers. Barclay wonders if she might have a point. “Maybe it is time people like me had more of a voice?” One parable at a time, please, guys! Or at least wait while we put more Bailey’s in the fridge.
But Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave), already known to Whovians as the head of Unit, is thrilled by this turn of events. She has always felt constrained by the political and bureaucratic rules that surround her. Now “we can build a better world for everyone!” Although quite how, when all she seems to do thereafter is beg him to keep reading the committee’s words off the teleprompter and not go rogue as he speaks with Salt, I am not quite sure.
Meanwhile, fat cats and traitors who want to protect economies instead of ecologies are plotting in the wings, and at home Barclay’s wife is being wholly unreasonable about things Barclay has no control over. I always enjoy shows that pride themselves on progressiveness then make the nearest minor female role a thick harpy. Is that bottle chilled yet?
Look, it’s fine. It’s solid entertainment for kids and I can see teenagers starting off sneering but falling under its spell soon enough. But when you have a spin-off series with such potential, when you couldn’t help but hope for something along the lines of RTD’s brilliant Years and Years for a younger demographic, it’s hard not to feel that The War Between the Land and the Sea is an opportunity wasted. They could have taken another pass at the title at least. And “Salt”. And the pearl thing. Given us a real Christmas treat, instead of relying on the season’s goodwill.
