You’ve probably heard of the Barbra Streisand effect: the phenomenon where attempts to censor information end up drawing more attention to it.
Now we might soon be referencing the Melania Trump effect: the phenomenon where holding a surprise press conference to state that you did not have a relationship with a dead paedophile, and would like people to please stop speculating about the matter, immediately causes people to start speculating about the matter.
On Thursday, for reasons that nobody can quite understand, the first lady decided to tell the world to ignore all the rumours circulating about her connections to Jeffrey Epstein because she “never had a relationship” with the late sex offender or his accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell. Yes, she’d met Epstein, but she barely knew him. Yes, there are photos of Epstein, Maxwell and the Trumps together, but those aren’t a big deal.
Trump did acknowledge writing a friendly email to Maxwell, signed “Love, Melania”, but brushed that off. “I [have] never been friends with Epstein,” she insisted. “I am not Epstein’s victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump.” She also called on Congress to take sworn testimony in a public hearing from Epstein victims. (Maybe you could have just asked your husband to get that done, Melania? I hear he’s pretty high up in politics.)
You don’t have to be a PR expert to realise that issuing a statement like this was a deeply weird move. The world’s attention has been diverted from Epstein by the war on Iran, but this unexpected press conference has put the Trump family’s relationship with the late financier back in the headlines. If the first lady was hoping to clear up some rumours and draw a line under the issue, she has sorely failed. It’s also unclear whether the president, who has urged people to move on from Epstein, was aware Melania had planned to speak out about this.
So what’s going on? The official explanation is simply that Trump “spoke out now because enough is enough”. However, there’s mounting speculation that a big story might be about to drop, causing the White House to panic and attempt to get ahead of the narrative.
I have another possible explanation. And that is that the Trumps aren’t just morally bankrupt, they’re also very, very stupid. A lot of people seem reluctant to acknowledge this about the president; they will tie themselves into knots trying to argue that his erratic actions actually represent a genius playing four-dimensional chess. He’s not really a madman, they insist, he’s just playing one on Truth Social! I understand why people want to believe this: it’s comforting to think there’s some sort of method behind the madness. But if there is any sort of method, I certainly can’t see it. All I can see is a man who thinks he can bully his way through life.
Here’s the thing: even if you are blessed with “a very high IQ”, when you are as rich and powerful as the Trumps, you can easily lose perspective. People rarely say “no” to you. Your employees don’t tell you that your ideas are ridiculous because they don’t want to lose their jobs. Melania may not be the president, but she is in the same sycophantic bubble as her husband. It’s possible she just thought she could hold a press conference and command all us plebs to stop talking about her, and we would immediately obey.
On the contrary, however, the first lady has now created a PR nightmare for herself. In a statement released on Thursday, a group of Epstein survivors accused Trump of “shifting the burden onto survivors under politicized conditions to protect those with power”. They added that her statement “diverts attention from [former attorney general] Pam Bondi, who must answer for withheld files and the exposure of survivors’ identities. Those failures continue to put lives at risk while shielding enablers. Survivors have done their part. Now it’s time for those in power to do theirs.”
Unfortunately, there seems to be very little chance of that happening. Bondi has said that, since she is no longer attorney general, she will not appear on 14 April for a scheduled deposition to answer questions about the justice department’s handling of the Epstein files. That won’t stop broader questions from coming, of course: Melania Trump’s press conference has made sure of that. Unless, of course, the first lady convinces her husband to invade another country or kill some more schoolchildren to distract people for a while. If a bombshell about the Trump-Epstein relationship is about to drop, it feels on-brand for the White House to drown it out with a real explosion.
Is it illegal to call Trump a dick-tator while wearing a penis costume?
I guess we’re going to find out if this is pun-ishable or not. Sixty-two-year-old Renea Gamble was recently arrested after sporting the dick-tator sign and phallic costume at a No Kings Rally in Alabama. She’s now been charged with disturbing the peace.
Virginia governor signs Right to Contraception Act
Democratic governor Abigail Spanberger officially signed a new law that stops state and local governments from passing or enforcing laws restricting the obtaining of contraceptives. Notably, the former Republican governor Glenn Youngkin previously vetoed similar legislation.
Tennessee school board member calls student ‘hot’
In a livestreamed board meeting, Keith Ervin wrapped his arm around a female high school student sitting next to him and said: “God, you’re hot. Do you know that? Damn. Where do you go to school at?” Ervin later claimed he didn’t mean “hot” in terms of physical appearance. Ervin has been censured (a formal condemnation) but is still on the board.
Lebanon conflict drives mental health crisis for displaced women
Israel has been bombing Lebanon for weeks now, but on Wednesday it upped the ante and struck densely packed residential areas of the capital, killing more than 300 people in 10 minutes. UN Women estimates that one-quarter of all women and girls across the country have been displaced since 2 March and the conflict is driving a mental health crisis.
Northern Ireland introduces two weeks’ paid leave after a miscarriage
It is the first region in the UK to provide paid bereavement leave to parents suffering pregnancy loss through a miscarriage before 24 weeks. Paid miscarriage leave varies around the world: India offers six weeks, New Zealand gives three days and the US obviously doesn’t give any.
The McDonald’s CEO blamed his tiny burger bite incident on his mother
A clip of Chris Kempczinski eating a teeny bite of his company’s “product” and looking as if he hated it recently went viral. He explained to the Wall Street Journal that he doesn’t loathe McDonald’s, it’s just that his mother taught him not to speak with his mouth full.
Remember, everyone: calling for a ceasefire is bad, but rape jokes are fine
It would certainly seem that way, considering the Barstool Sports founder, Dave Portnoy, is holding an event at New York’s prestigious 92nd Street Y later this year. Portnoy has made rape jokes, faced credible accusations of sexual misconduct (he claims the encounters were consensual) and called for Greta Thunberg to be bombed. Apparently that’s fine for the 92NY. What isn’t fine is speaking up for Palestinians. In late October 2023, the center abruptly cancelled an event with the Pulitzer prize winner Viet Thanh Nguyen because he signed an open letter expressing empathy with “both Palestinians and Israelis”, and calling for a ceasefire in Gaza.
The week in pawtriarchy
A pet bunny called Flopsy disappeared from her home in the UK four years ago. Her family gave up on her ever coming home until an Easter miracle happened. On Easter Sunday, they saw a Facebook post about a rabbit that had been found in a field near their home and, lo and behold, it was Flopsy. Stay put now, Flopsy, no more bunny business.
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Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian US columnist

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