Sarah Jessica Parker, the Sex and the City star and Booker prize judge, has a nifty trick for getting out of taking selfies with her fans. “I did this for a really, really long time and it worked for ever,” Parker said in an interview with Howard Stern. “I used to say, ‘I can’t, because of the government,’ and I’d do this,” Parker said, pointing up to the sky. “It really confused people. This was through different administrations, so it wasn’t political.”
It is not entirely clear why Parker – who has said she refuses to take selfies and would rather “have a conversation” instead because “it’s much more meaningful” – stopped using this brilliant excuse. But one does have to wonder whether it is because the US has become a nation of conspiracy theorists. Rather than backing away from the weird “the government is watching” woman, perhaps fans started to excitedly engage her with theories about how Bill Gates has implanted us all with mind-controlling microchips. Or maybe she just got tired of the joke. I don’t know. But I’m sure someone out there (the government) does.
Conspiracy theories have become so mainstream that they are even prompting nonsensical legislation. Earlier this month, Louisiana lawmakers sent a bill to the state’s governor seeking to ban “chemtrails” – which don’t actually exist. They are a longstanding conspiracy which posits that the white lines sometimes left behind by aircraft aren’t just due to condensed water vapour but are far more sinister. Some people believe that the government is spraying toxic metals to reduce populations; others believe they are evidence that dark forces are trying to control the weather or people’s minds.
Lawmakers in at least 11 other states are trying to advance similar “chemtrail” bans. “Every bill like this is kind of symbolic, or is introduced to appease a very vocal group, but it can still cause real harm by signalling that these conspiracies deserve this level of legal attention,” a member of the National Association for Media Literacy Education told the Associated Press.
Also causing real harm in the US with his obsession with imaginary problems is health secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr. The vaccine sceptic recently fired every single member of a critical advisory committee on immunisation practices. He has replaced them with people who reportedly have very little vaccine expertise and are accused of spreading misinformation. The ousted members of the vaccine committee have said that the shake-up may “impact people’s access to lifesaving vaccines, and ultimately put US families at risk of dangerous and preventable illnesses.”
RFK Jr is also fixated on conspiracy theories about fluoride, which he calls “a dangerous neurotoxin”. There are, to be clear, valid concerns about ingesting too much fluoride, including its effects on IQ as well as potential tooth discoloration. But experts are pretty unanimous that fluoride in drinking water is a great public health achievement that has done wonders for preventing tooth decay. There are worries that RFK Jr’s meddling will cause a significant increase in dental cavities, especially among children in lower-income groups.
Anyway, I’ve got a good idea for Parker. Since acting like a conspiracy theorist no longer seems to ward off unwanted attention, why not try engaging selfie-seeking fans with a rational fact-based discussion? Increasingly large numbers of Americans seem allergic to that; some fans will immediately run a mile. I have some other thoughts too but I’m afraid I can’t elaborate any more on this issue for top secret reasons. But here’s a hint: it’s because of the government.