It may have been the pitch rather than any of the players that dominated this match but, for all that they will repeatedly have cursed its capriciousness, England will have forgiven it all the moment they completed victory in the first Test of the summer, bowling New Zealand out before lunch on the fourth day to win by 115 runs.
Batting on this surface against an array of bowlers that proved ideal to profit from it ranged from awkward to impossible. The tourists went into the day on 55 for five and with 199 still required, and never looked likely to turn the game on its head.
After Tom Blundell became the 11th batter to fall lbw eight balls into the morning session – never in this country have so many players been dismissed either bowled or lbw in a Test – Devon Conway and Glenn Phillips stayed together long enough to at least raise the possibility of a comeback.
In the end the New Zealand duo added 53 for the seventh wicket, the second-highest partnership of a match in which most individual innings were marked more than anything by their brevity.
Under thick cloud, Phillips (44 not out) showed New Zealand another way of approaching their goal, defending whenever the ball targeted his stumps, hoping that none of those deliveries behaved so extraordinarily that those efforts would be outdone, and attacking anything that strayed.
As demonstrated by Kyle Jamieson in their first innings – though aided by England’s perplexing decision to abandon the approach that had allowed them to slice through the tourists’ batting order in favour of slow-paced bouncers – attack was very much the best form of defence on this surface. Get going, or get out.
Conway faced 91 balls for his 41 but needed a bit of luck to get there, surviving an extremely close lbw call on the third day and dropped by Harry Brook at second slip early on the fourth when on 24. Eventually Ben Stokes, who bowled only seven overs in the game, found a leading edge and Jacob Bethell took an excellent low catch at gully.

Nathan Smith lasted only three balls before feathering a catch to his namesake Jamie, bringing out Jamieson and uniting Phillips with a second player determined to attack. But only briefly, as it turned out: Jamieson, seizing on a bit of width, cut Atkinson for four but soon afterwards clipped the same bowler to midwicket, where Ben Duckett took a straightforward catch.
Matt Henry, particularly given his back problems, was unlikely to delay significantly what was now inevitable and he lasted 10 balls before being bowled by Atkinson, who became the fourth bowler to earn a place on the honours board in this match in the process. The excellent Phillips was left unbeaten on 44, off 52 deliveries.
For Lord’s, the match has been both embarrassing and expensive. Just under 10 overs bowled on an almost washed-out third day meant full refunds for all ticket holders. After five wickets fell in 19 overs on the fourth, another day’s attendees will get reimbursed, if only 50% of the ticket price. The early conclusion also meant drinks going unsold and food being redirected from the ground’s ambitiously priced outlets to local charities.

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