5 hours ago
10
The prosecution: Brent
Amy says that boiling water kills germs so it’s hygienic, but one time I found a hair in my mug
Amy and I have been friends for 15 years and have lived together for seven. We’re both big coffee drinkers, but we make it in different ways. We live in Ohio, where it can get very cold, so every morning we like to heat up our mugs before putting the coffee into them. This helps to keep the coffee warm.
I wake up earlier and go to work first, so it was only fairly recently that I learned that Amy warms up her mug every morning with boiling water from the kettle. But after the mug has warmed up, she pours the water back into the kettle. It bothers me in a visceral way. It’s like double-dipping a chip or spitting wine back into the bottle. It’s just gross.
The kettle is a shared space; a mug is a personal space. You can’t put anything from a mug back into the kettle. I’d like her to pour the water into the sink instead. I hate the idea of coming home and drinking secondhand water from the kettle.
I’ve done some research and talked to some experts who say the quality of the water degrades when you keep boiling it. It’s an issue, because I like to make pour-over or cafetière coffee with water from the kettle, which tastes best with high-quality water. Amy says boiling the water kills germs so it’s hygienic, but I once found a hair in my mug and I’m convinced it was because of her secondhand water.
A few months ago, when I first realised what she was doing, I said nothing. But I realised this must have been happening for years behind my back. Boiling water twice is a no-no for me – there is a change in quality and taste. My life had a certain drabness to it – I now attribute that to consuming poor-quality water for so long without realising.
As a compromise, Amy has said she will keep her water elsewhere and won’t put it back in the shared kettle. But that would get in the way and make a mess. She could microwave her empty cup to warm it up, but I think she prefers to have a back and forth with the kettle.
The defence: Amy
Pouring the water away is a waste, and I can use up my recycled water before Brent returns from work
We’d been living our lives without a problem before Brent noticed this. Our kitchen is incredibly cold and we have long winters here. I add hot water to heat up my coffee mug because when I don’t, the coffee immediately cools. It’s genius and I do it every morning.
It feels like a waste to put the water down the drain after heating my mug. My rationale is: my mug is clean, we have a dishwasher, and the cupboard we put cups in after taking them out of the dishwasher is clean. I don’t do anything but pour boiling water into a clean mug, then pour it back into the kettle; there is no cross-contamination.
Germs are killed by boiling water. Brent said he found a hair in his mug once, but that could have been from anywhere. Coming across hair is part of being alive. I’m interested in whether Brent’s ideas on water quality are accurate. Is it scientifically proven? I don’t think the quality declines over multiple boils.
A month ago, I was in the kitchen, about to pour the water from my mug back into the kettle, when I thought: “Is what I’m doing weird?” But I want to stick to my guns as I don’t think it is. To compromise, I said I’d be willing to use up all my recycled water before Brent returns from work.
I want to be respectful of Brent’s discomfort, but I also think that because of our schedules – he goes to work, I work from home – he doesn’t need to worry about used water in the kettle, at least in the afternoon, because he isn’t here.
Brent has suggested I heat the mug with hot water from the sink like he does, but it takes too long to run the tap, and feels more wasteful. He also says I should microwave my cup, but I feel it’s gross, and microwaved water cools down really quickly.
We’re both good-humoured and non-confrontational, and we don’t have other conflicts, but because we live in a house with poor insulation, which is below freezing from November to March, I really want to keep heating my cup in this way.
The jury of Guardian readers
Is Amy taking Brent for a mug?
It all boils (ha) down to this: 15 years of friendship apparently isn’t reason enough to accommodate a good friend’s silly (dramatic, OTT, mildly germophobic) request. Amy, are you a real friend or not? Compromise, or get Brent his own kettle for Christmas. And Brent: wise up. A certain drabness? Puh-lease.
Cat, 25
I think the mystery of the drabness in Brent’s life is less to do with his sub-optimal coffee and more to do with his time spent researching water quality and talking to experts about reboiled water.
Oisin, 55
Firstly, I suggest you both get a hobby – perhaps you could learn to crochet, and make a nice tea cosy for your mugs. Reboiled water is disgusting, especially if it has been in another vessel. I’m pretty sure both of your mug-warming methods are pretty bad for the environment.
Abbie, 35
Although Brent’s ideas about water quality are a bit excessive, putting the water back in the kettle is gross because anything floating around might get in – like a hair. Get a second kettle and each of you can do what you like.
Mariana, 38
I believe that the hair in Brent’s cup was Amy’s fault. Couldn’t you microwave the cup with nothing in it, Amy? Why is your house so badly insulated? Do you ever burn your fingers on your cups? So many questions …
Annaliese, 45
Now you be the judge
In our online poll, tell us: is Amy in hot water?
The poll closes on Wednesday 18 March at 9am GMT
Last week’s results
We asked whether Teddy should put aside his dislike of flying.
28% of you said yes – Teddy is guilty
72% of you said no – Teddy is innocent
